Ever since I got back from home I have neglected the blog. Maybe it´s because our relationship has been going pretty smoothly lately. The biggest issue we had was when his computer broke down a couple of weeks ago! Which in our case, it´s really relationship-threatening!
This past week, however, something happened that made me look things in a very different way.
One of my closest friends from back home got married a few years years ago. Her relationship was never very good. Let´s just say she was easy to manipulate and he used that to his advantage. She was also very afraid of never getting married, and more than anything she wanted to have a baby. Well, they got married and had a baby girl. They moved to a town far away from her family and friends because of his job.
Things were not working out and my friend was very unhappy. After a lot of painful thinking she decided to move back with her almost 3 year old daughter to her mother´s houses. It was not an easy decision for her, but it was one she had to do to give her daughter the happy environment she deserves to grow up in. She moved out a little bit after the end of year holidays passed, when her new job started.
Even though she was the one who left, she has had a hard time coping with the separation. She knew it was the right thing to do, but she was very unhappy about her marriage not working out.
Last week, just 4 days after her daughter´s 3 years old birthday and a day before a business trip that marked her new independence, she got a call from the hospital in her husband´s town. He had had a heart attack and died. He was barely 30 years old.
He could no have died at a worst time. With the separation going on, his family hates my friend and blames her for his death. He also did not have any kind of life insurance or anything to take care of his daughter if he died, and he had a lot of debt that my friend now has to pay for. Two weeks ago, my friend was dealing with an already painful broken marriage and now she´s struggling to make ends meet, while battling her in-laws for everything from inheritance to visitation rights.
I´ve been remembering the time when my friend got married and she had the baby. I can´t help but to think how she got married more out of fear than out of love. She was afraid to remain single, she was afraid of not having a child, she was afraid of never finding someone to love so she married the first guy she could, without ever considering what he was like, how he managed money and what kind of relationship she had with his family.
All this situation has made me think about how every single decision, and specially who we have as a partner, can have an unknown and huge impact in our lives...
